Nothing But Regret
by The Muse of Apollo
Summary: Hermione made the wrong choice, but she doesn't realize it until it's too late. Angst. Oneshot for now.


**a.n. This is just a short angsty drabble that I had on my hard drive. I don't know if I will ever continue it, so I'm marking it as complete. Perhaps if I get a bunch of requests for more, I might do it during breaks of writing _The Duke_. Let me know in reviews if you want more.**

 **I don't own HP.**

 **-:::-**

It had really all gone downhill for her at the end of fifth year, Hermione thought sadly as she watched Harry walk down the Great Hall after giving his Head Boy speech.

After the fiasco at the Department of Mysteries, Harry had sat at her bedside for days on end, waiting for her to come out of her magical coma. When she had awoken, he had confessed his love for her. It had shocked her, of course. Harry had never been one to talk about his feelings.

At the time she had been pretty sure that she was in love with Ronald Weasley. After all, he was tall and handsome, and had stunning blue eyes that melted her heart. Sure they argued a lot, but that was just tension right? All they would need was some snogging and everything would be great. Or so she told herself.

The look on Harry's face when she had rejected him had nearly broken her heart. She had never wanted to hurt him. He was her best friend. It wasn't until a few hours later, after Harry had quickly excused himself that she learned that Sirius had died.

That summer had been rough for her. Recuperating from her injuries and trying to communicate with Harry (who wouldn't answer her letters), took up most of her time.

Something happened to Harry that summer. Somehow her rejection on top of the death of his Godfather changed him. When she saw him for the first time during the trip to Hogwarts for their sixth year, she couldn't believe her eyes. He'd grown at least five inches and had added a lot of muscle to his frame. His hair was long and tied back into a pony tail, and he wasn't wearing his glasses. She'd never really been attracted to him until that moment.

He also wouldn't talk to her or Ron. No matter how much they tried, he politely walked away or blatantly ignored them. After a couple weeks of this, Hermione had snapped and tore into him one day after potions. She'd told him to grow up, and to get over her rejection. She'd said some pretty nasty things to him, to be honest.

Around that same time, she had finally found the courage to ask Ron to be her boyfriend (after all he would've never had the courage to ask her out), and he had said yes.

After that she ignored Harry as much as possible. If the prat didn't want to be her friend anymore, then why should she care? She had a boyfriend to please and studies to keep her busy. Sure she missed his friendship, but she wasn't going beg him to be her friend any more than she already had.

The relationship with Ron had been a torrid and short affair. She really should have known better. Despite the snogging, their arguments increased in frequency and ferocity. The relationship ended near the end of their sixth year when she could take no more of his pestering for sex. She didn't want to have sex until marriage. It had always been her plan, and she wouldn't let Ronald Weasley's libido change her mind.

The one thing she hadn't noticed in her preoccupation with her relationship was the absence of Harry Potter from Hogwarts. It wasn't until the Death Eaters attacked Hogwarts at the end of the year that she found out that Harry hadn't been in the Castle since before Easter break.

After Dumbledore's funeral, she'd asked McGonagall if she knew where Harry had gone, and she had been told that Harry was on some sort of mission for Dumbledore.

It really hit her then how selfish she had really been. Harry, the boy who had saved her life, was off fighting another battle, only this time she wasn't there to help. She had tried finding him that summer, but hadn't had a clue until she had gotten a letter from Remus that Harry had been brought into St. Mungos and was seriously injured.

That was the same day it broke in the press that something had happened to marked Death Eaters. Somehow they had all lost their magic at the same time. Hermione knew Harry had something to do with that.

She had rushed to St. Mungos and sat at his bedside, hoping and praying that she would get another chance to make the right choice.

The problem was that when had woken up, he had asked her to leave. Not even a chance to say what she had wanted desperately to say.

Their seventh year had been very lonely for Hermione. Not only was she not friends with Ron after their explosive breakup, but Harry continued to ignore her. Even sharing a room with him as Head Boy and Head Girl hadn't changed anything. She knew for a fact that she was in love with him. It was something she had come to terms with during the summer while she sat beside his sick bed at St. Mungos. It had shocked her, of course. She'd always thought of him as a little brother, but she had been wrong. It was Ron who had always treated her like a sister, not Harry.

Ron argued with her and got over protective when she dated other guys. It just took Harry being seriously injured and a terrible relationship with Ronald Weasley to make Hermione realize that she was seriously regretting her choice of rejecting Harry Potter.

Their seventh year ended and with it came the inevitable choices all young adults must make on their futures. Hermione had heard that Harry was moving back into the muggle world, though she didn't know what he planned to do there. Hermione herself was going back into the muggle education system in order to get a degree from Oxford.

Hermione made her way back to the Head's dormitory thinking about how much her life had changed since the end of her fifth year. She couldn't understand how she could have made such a terrible choice. She wanted to blame it all on teenage hormones, but even that didn't excuse it.

All she knew was that she'd missed her chance at true love, and she would regret that for the rest of her life.

-:::-

 _Thoughts?_


End file.
